My brother is wicked

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am in my 40s. My parents had two of us, me and my brother. We grew up as a close family. Our parents' house is still in good shape. My brother and I try to maintain it. We have relatives who live in the house; they rent it from us, but it is not for much. We prefer to have them there than strangers.

My brother does farming, but he is not a hard worker. He has a woman. I have tried over the years to encourage him to marry her. She is an ambitious woman. They have three children together, but my brother has other women. He is always bragging about himself. He is tall and handsome, so women go for him. He told me many times that he can get any woman he wants. He even had an affair with a politician. I warned him that he could get himself killed if he does not leave that woman. He eventually he left her. Sometimes I send money to help him with his children.

The purpose of me writing to you is to get some guidance. I really love my brother. I don't have children. I had a man in my life, but he got mixed up with another woman and I could not deal with it, so we broke up. I am not a saint; I have gone out with other men and I have had my time with them. I have my own place here in America.

I was saving to build a house in Jamaica. I bought the plot of land and I put everything in my brother's hand. I got the plans for the house drawn. I wanted a split-level house. I have an account and my brother's name is in it. He doesn't have any money in the account, but his name is there for convenience.

Pastor, as I write to you, tears are flowing from my eyes. My brother used up all my money and he cannot give me an account for what he did with it. His children's mother told me that he became a big gambler and is always sporting the girls; even girls who are very young. I told my brother that I am going to take him to court for my money. He told me he would try and get the money and give me back, but I have to pay him for everything he has done for me. I know that my money is dead. But how could my own brother rob me?

Whenever I go to Jamaica, I rent a car and I don't allow him to spend any money. Once, when I encouraged him to get married, he said he wanted the money to buy a ring as he had seen one. I asked him how much for the one he saw and he said $25,000, but he can get it for less. I gave him $10,000 to help him out, and until now he has not bought the ring. I will never take him to court because he is my brother. But what would you suggest? Who can I trust?

When I came to America, I got married to a man and I had to divorce him because he got involved with weed. I had to pay all the bills although he made money. I don't know what is happening to these men. My own brother has let me down. I am still looking forward to building my house and to retire in Jamaica. I don't want to be in the cold all the days of my life. I want to enjoy the sunshine in Jamaica, so give me your advice.

B.C

Dear B.C.,

I am going to tell you something and I am saying it to help you and to encourage you not to give up. First of all, I am glad that you are an ambitious woman and that you are a hard worker.

I want to also tell you that when it comes to money, you ought to be very, very careful. Even if you are working with relatives, everything should be in black and white. The word-of-mouth business will not work.

What I want to ask you is this: In the agreement that you made with your brother, did you sign a contract? I know you put his name in your account, but how can you prove that his name was in the account just for convenience as you said? Your brother is not straightforward. He is not an honest man. You know that he can always say that the money that went into the account was a gift for him.

I might have written this before, and if I did, I want to repeat it here. I knew a politician and he was a good politician, but he made a fundamental mistake. He trusted a friend, a good friend, and he sent his hard-earned money to that friend in America to purchase a house for him. The money was sent monthly and everything, as far as he was concerned, was going well. The house was bought and the politician eventually left Jamaica. When he got to America, the friend had a different story. He told him that things weren't going well in the USA and he borrowed all the money. He bought the house, but the house was not bought in the politician's name. I knew the politician well. Someone might say the politician was an idiot, but he wasn't. In fact, he was a Christian and very prominent in society and in his church. He lost everything that he sent. His friend messed him up.

selfish

I know wives who have lost every cent that they sent to their men to purchase property. Yes, I knew a preacher whose wife went to America, and the preacher sent her money every month to buy a house in America, while he stayed in Jamaica and was preparing to retire and to join his wife. She bought the house, but she bought it in her name only. And not only so that she got involved with another man. When the preacher visited the USA, she picked him up at the airport and took him out. He walked around and looked at the house and that evening, yes, the very evening, she informed him that the relationship between them was over. She said she only agreed for him to come to America to give him a start there. That man was so shocked he eventually got a stroke. The preacher man bought himself a gun and was determined to take the life of his wife. Another friend of mine had to visit him and counsel him.

I am trying to say, one never knows what will happen. Money is hard to get, and some people don't care what they do to others. So, my dear lady, take your loss, but don't give up on life, and don't give up on your God.

Pastor