Boyfriend wants me to be his mom’s nurse

Dear Pastor,

I am faced with a challenge. I am living with a man who has two elderly parents, one of whom is suffering from Alzheimer's disease.

I am a practical nurse. My boyfriend is now making me an offer. He wants me to give up my present job to take care of his mother, and he would pay me weekly for doing so.

Pastor, I love this man and he treats me well, but I suggest that he should put his mother in a home where she would get good treatment. I do not want to go and live at his parents' house, because for me to take care of her well, I would have to be watching her all the time.

My boyfriend said that his father is at the house so I shouldn't have any fear. He is offering me more than what I am earning right now, but I prefer to continue to work where I am at the moment, and for my boyfriend and I to visit his parents two or three times per week to assess the problem. My boyfriend is not very happy with me for not giving up my job to take care of his mom. I told him it is a very big decision for me to take.

What do you suggest that I do?

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

At present, I have friends whose wives are suffering from Alzheimer's disease.

One has put his wife in a nursing home. The others have given up their jobs and have become their wives' caregivers. All these women are educated and it is very sad to see the condition in which they are in. I spoke to one of the men and he told me what he has to do for his wife every day, and it is challenging.

So what do I say to you? You have your man, but you have to use common sense. You should give your boyfriend moral support. But I will not suggest that you give up your job to take care of his parents. Your boyfriend does not want to separate his parents from each other, but the time may come when he has to do so. I think I should not say more at this time.

Pastor