Sister slept with my boyfriend for $5,000

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 and I have a sister is who 18. We always got along, but she has hurt me.

I have a boyfriend who is 22 and my sister was always pushing up herself to him. He is working and my sister is going to evening classes. He told me that she has asked him for things a few times and he has given them to her. I did not find that to be any big thing.

I looked into his phone one day and I saw text messages from my sister, and what she said made me suspect that they had sex. So I confronted my sister first and asked her if my boyfriend had asked her for sex and she said no. I did not believe her, so I asked my boyfriend why he asked her for sex. He did not deny it; he said it only happened once. He said he came to see me, but my sister was alone at the house. She told him that she needed $5,000 and she would give him sex for it. She said she had just gone to the bathroom, so they could have sex before I got home. So he said he had sex with her and he begged me to forgive him. Remember, she said she never had sex with him, but he said he did.

My sister and I share the same bedroom. But since my boyfriend told me that they had sex, I don't even want to see her there. She has a guy who is a police officer. I told her that I was going to tell him what she did. I did not mean that. But I am very upset with my sister and my boyfriend. I did not expect her to have sex with him. I believe my sister approached him and he took her on. It is hard for me to forgive my sister. My boyfriend has been asking me to forgive him. I told him that I don't have any good reason to forgive him because whenever he wanted sex, we used to go to a particular place and pay for the room. But he came right into my parents' home and had sex with my younger sister.

Pastor, I did not know he was that type of man. I knew when my sister became sexually active. I saw blood on her underwear and I asked her if she gave up her virginity and she said yes. I asked her if the guy had used protection and she said yes. I asked my boyfriend if he used protection when he was having sex with my sister; he said he didn't have any. How can I trust this man? That would have been a big shame on our family. I don't know what to do with myself. One mind is saying I should forgive him but how can I forgive my sister? She is old enough to know better. So please give me your advice. I can't stand to look at her.

G.T.

Dear G.T

Evidently your sister has financial needs that no one in the family is able to assist her with.

You say that your boyfriend would help your sister occasionally. Your sister has a boyfriend who is a young cop, but having a boyfriend does not mean that he has a responsibility to give her money. You did not say what type of text you saw in your boyfriend's phone from your sister, but the text triggered your suspicion and you felt that they had sex.

Your big problem is how to deal with this matter now. Your sister says that it never happened, but your boyfriend has admitted it. How can you trust this man? Why couldn't he refuse the offer from your sister? But how can you be sure that he is speaking the truth? When some men are caught doing something wrong, they blame the women. They say it is the women who pushed themselves on them. That is exactly what your boyfriend is telling you. How do you know that he is speaking the truth? So, while it is true that you love your boyfriend, are you going to hate your sister for doing something she has not admitted to you?

Even if your boyfriend is telling the truth, try and forgive your sister. Warn your boyfriend not to visit your home when you are not there. Please help your sister to get a job even if it is on a weekend to help meet some of her financial needs. Siblings should learn to live in peace. If she had sexual intercourse with your boyfriend, she made a big mistake; but forgive her, and put your boyfriend on probation. He has to take the blame. He should not want to have two sisters; shame on him.

Pastor